What do you do and how do you deal with it when people play 'mind games' with you then when you become angry

I don't. I don't understand pive agressive behavior, and that is what you are describing. These people will never change. You will wear yourself out trying to understand their actions. Communication with them is poor to impossible. Being around a person like this is like being around a mental and emotional vampire. They suck your energy and leave you feeling exhausted. The very best thing you can do is limit your time with them or avoid them altogether.